#their relationship is so fucking fascinating to me

[intheorangebedroom]

Happy Miller Monday, besties 🧡

I’m back in Folsom at work and you know I love my job but damn. It’s hard. Is what she said OK BYE HAVE A GOOD ONE 😁

The Miller brothers getting shit done-

Bonus two of adorable Benny because I can't help myself:

[cluescorner]

I'm back on my bullshit

Optimus: I've loved you in every universe, even if you twist into someone I should hate.

Soundwave: I've loved you in every universe, even if it never ends well for me.

Rodimus: Every other universe can rot for all I care, I love you in this one.

[drdemonprince]

Can u talk about the process of replacing your desire for unhealthy relationship dynamics that were sexually exciting with desire for explicitly negotiated kinky sex? or do I just need to wait for the essay lol

It's not actually in the piece but now that you mention it, it could make for a really strong narrative turning point.

It started by me cheating on my abusive partner with kinky people! I realized at some point during a two-year relationship in graduate school that was extremely toxic that I was so addicted to my partner because I was getting off on the control he exerted over my body and life. I wanted to get away from him, but I felt utterly dependent on how he made me feel, and he was already cheating on me...so I hopped onto OK Cupid and started flirting with some people.

It made me feel good, it made me feel like I could live on without him and build a new life for myself. I had a few fairly vanilla hookups with people at first, and it didn't do much for me, but one of those casual partners became a lifelong friend. Then a sexy, bombastic stand-up comedian who was just coming up in the local scene slid into my inbox, allured by the fact I described myself as shy. He was pushy and hyperconfident, which I liked. And when he asked me what kinks turned me on in bed, the truth came spilling out: Dom-sub.

(I wish I'd had the gall to tell him hypnosis, which had been a lifelong fetish of mine. This guy would prove to be fascinated by rare and niche kinks, but I was too ashamed of my hypnosis thing to tell anyone at that point).

The stand up comedian started domming me after that. He'd make me pay for his cab, throw me over a chair, finger me, and fuck me in the ass hard while biting my back and leaving massive welts. The sex was incredible. But he was also an egotistical 21-year-old with an active heroin addiction (he swore up and down to me that the drug 'wasn't a big deal'), and he started fucking me without a condom without my consent, which was traumatic and to this day is the reason I rarely receive anal sex. Ultimately he became controlling and jealous of my other (abusive) primary partner, and he left me, and then died of a heroin overdose after sending me a few more stray messages recounting good old times.

It was a mess. But I learned a lot about myself through this encounter, and practiced articulating what I wanted for the very first time. I was mistreated, but I also had incredibly hot sex that I still revisit in my mind's eye. I know for a fact that this stand-up comedian reviewed our own chat messages shortly before he died, and that he remembered those times fondly too. I feel bad that he died so young, and was so lost and confused, and I wish that he could have survived long enough to get better and make amends.

After that experience (and after escaping my primary abusive relationship), I got into a very safe, vanilla relationship for many years. I was too traumatized for anything else, and the gentle, passive boyfriend that I found was very healing to be with. But eventually I did get bored with the sex, and his lack of emotional availability, and became profoundly depressed. It was around this time that I started taking Sam-E , an over-the-counter anti-depressant supplement whose side effects include increased libido and a kind of dreamy headspace. On impulse, I started searching for erotic hypnosis play websites one day.

I met several hypo-kinky partners on the site I found, a now-defunct chat site called Sleepychat that would pair hypnotists with hypno-bottoms. One of them was a truly skillful, communicative, and caring partner who built a whole complex hypnotic architecture and series of safeties and triggers in my mind. We are still friends. I had lots of play with lots of people, and started attending a hypno kink convention that just so happens to occur in the Chicago suburbs. I became gradually more comfortable acknowledging my kinks to people, and made lots of hypno-kinky audio files and stories. I had other Doms and owners, and had lots of wild sex here and there. Still, my serious, long-term vanilla relationship limited me.

I only really started searching out formally kinky relationships in earnest in 2021, after ending that vanilla relationship. I've been pretty firmly embedded within a variety of kink scenes since. My taste for hypnosis led me to regular D/s, and to leather and bondage, and to pup play and furry stuff. I've really come alive in the last handful of years. I've learned so much about myself and the many scenes, met so many people, had so much great sex and so much mid sex and been in all kinds of wonderful and toxic and off putting and funny dynamics. This aspect of my life only keeps getting better, and I'm excited for lots of new experiences this year!

damn i just about gave you a full essay right here

[mythalism]

i think, anecdotally, canadians love to use land acknowledgments and Diversity(tm) a bit more than americans do, and have a degree of always pointing at the us and being like "well at least WE didn't do anything that fucked up! we're so much more enlightened and respectful 😌". and so any acknowledgment that racism exists, or that necessary societal change is often only brought by unpleasant disruption, or specifically that indigenous people live in terrible conditions because of colonization, is bracketed with this type of "but it's very complicated, and who's to say if there's a solution? we're thinking about it really hard, and holding space, and listening and learning, and maybe we will get to fixing it in like 50 years if people ask nicely" rhetoric. and there's a degree of apprehension that "land back" is a call for ethnic cleansing of settlers (somehow, despite this being both physically not possible and not actually anyone's demand) and that any movement towards that will be bad and overly radical.

which maps directly onto how bioware writes elves specifically haha. they'll sympathetically show how they're oppressed and living under the boot of a catholic church-esque entity, but then... ahhh noo, actually they had a very problematic pre-colonization culture, and they're too impractically fixated on the past and that prevents them from moving forward, and the church employees are sometimes trying their best and making amends, and the demands of the elven leadership are just too out there and violent... so really, it's very complicated. maybe it could be better to keep the status quo and only have Incremental Change, forever.

(they sort of didn't do this in the masked empire, but as always they had to throw in a bit about how Rude And Mean the dalish are. plus the ridiculously evil chevalier lore of each one randomly executing a few elves as a rite of passage, and then never mentioning that aspect again bc i guess it wasn't relevant to michel's story. as well as the insanely underwritten premise of what briala and celene's relationship actually was. there's ~toxic lesbians~, and then there's "extremely rich and powerful white noblewoman calls her younger servant class gf ugly for being dark skinned, lies to her for years, has her family and then entire community killed, then tries to seduce her back when she gets angry and leaves" lmao. i think weekes was going for a tragic morally grey starcrossed lovers to enemies vibe, but to me it was more of a horrific one-sided exploitation that the author did not seem to realize they were writing.)

and in veilguard i suppose they tried to avoid the entire issue by mostly removing those aspects of the setting, so you no longer even have the somewhat well-observed depictions of oppression combined with Justin Trudeau Moments, it's just kind of empty.

anyway thank you for appreciating my very long ted talk! i left tumblr after the whole "popular bloggers mass reporting pro-palestine people for terrorism" thing (i can get that treatment for free irl, don't need that extra stress from the Fandom Webbed Site haha). i've just been drifting back to look at dragon age posts bc i was curious about veilguard. i didn't expect much from bioware but it was surprising that they just went even further into tone-deaf bizarre race allegories rather than reading 1 (one) nonfiction book in the years since dai, or hiring anybody from a different background who could weigh in. :')

wow this is seriously so fascinating and insightful and truly does give me a better understanding of both canada and bioware LMFAO so thank you so much for sharing seriously. you are welcome in my inbox for more ted talks anytime and now im just gonna leave this here to marinate on it further and hope other people read it because its fantastic. xoxo

[mental-mouthful]

Hickey for the character asks pls? 👉👈

ohohoho! lovey suggestion !! i am always down to talk about a fellow ratt, so yes of course!

First Impression: IS THAT FUCKING HICKEY?? THE FERRET FACED FUCK I HATED WITH MY WHOLE BEING? THAT'S HIM? THEY MADE HIM A FUCKING TWINK???? People better not be fucking woobifying him i swear to god...

Impression Now: ohh noo. oh no my worst fear has come to life... i like hickeyyyy i like him a lotttt. i feel like this is how billy feels just "oh god. oh god is this working for me? son of a bitch it's working" On a real note though, he is sooo fascinating to me. He's a lot more genuine than i think people give him credit for. He's just so paranoid and has been taught to be so self-sufficient that it overrides any actual connection he might make with people. When given the chance to help, he does so, even if it is often tied to making himself look good. He didn't have to help Manson and Hartnell take Hornby's body down. He could've just cut in to undermine Irving and left it at that. He didn't have to grave rob to propose to Billy. He could've left everyone to burn in the carnival. (The fact he gutted McDonald do so and only looked as upset as "you fucking idiot, you stained my knife"... well that's just the other half of his personality showing) But he does all that. bc he does care. in his own twisted, detached way. Adam Nagaitas said something to this tune in an interview and its like. yeah!! he does care!! ...he just cares about getting himself on top (👀) more than any of that.

Favorite Moment: Goddddd what a hard question. Is it bugger victoria? (shout out fitzjamesbulletwound) Is it ratt wedding? (his smile is so sweet) is it his speech at the gallows? ("BUT ABANDONING HIS SHIP!!! SHOULD NOT BE AMONG THEMMM ☝️") i could be predictable and say its him taking his lashing like a fucking champ. his cheeky fucking smile throughout really encapsulates his "fuck you, I'll endure just to spite you" attitude. No it's not any of that. It's his casual smoke after he and billy get caught. it's really indicative of his personality and the unshakable force he'll be in the narrative. "there's worse things than being lashed ;)"

Idea for a Story: would loveeee to do a deep dive into his past. even if leaving it a mystery is more compelling, I'd really like to see what kinda menace he is on the streets of england.

Unpopular Opinion: that he actually doesn't want to eat people. he wasn't going into this with the hope that they'd turn cannibal. the situation had just gotten so dire and his lead poisoning and/or god compex had corroded his brain so bad he probably thought it made him an apex predator.

Favorite Relationship: He's got so many delicious dynamics to choose from but I think I'll go Crozier. He wants to be his friend. He wants to usurp him. He wants to fuck him. He wants to kill and eat him. He doesn't want his men to rough him up. He greatly looks forward to having a chat with him at the end of the world. He chains him to a boat.

Favorite Headcanon: that he plays the piano. and he's not great, but he knows his way around it. and its great fun to play for a crowd of belligerently drunk assholes who dont know the difference.

ANYWAYS THANK U THANK U FOR GIVING ME A REASON TO TALK ABOUT THIS FREAK <3333

[snoopyliker]

thinking about aromanticism in fandom again who couldve guessed im gonna nonsensically ramble dont expect this to make sense

but it really is interesting to experience fandom with a completely different outlook to relationships and seeing how allos react to things

i think one of the more fascinating to watch in terms of fandom was pangili and being like hm. what allos interpret as romantic is interesting. cause for me i’ll see an interaction and im like aww thats so me and (insert friend) and then you’ll go into the fandom its all romantic shipping of the two based off that interaction and ur like hm. and also sidenote i was about to type “Not that i have a problem with the shipping” and like i hate that i have to clarify that all the damn time anytime i talk about this shit. cause u just knoowww someones gonna be like oh so u hate gay ships? u hate? kissing? u hate gays? like no man. its just interesting to witness fandom shipping culture from the standpoint of someone who isnt allo i’d say. so much shit gets said where youre just like thats silly. “that couldnt be platonic” “u dont say that to friends” urrr scope of relationships is so narrow. tell ur friend you’d die for them and adore every detail on their face, it cures all.

even MAN. outside of fandom this is something idk. so fascinating ITS FASCINATING TO SEE HOW ALLOS EXPERIENCE LIFE. i was watching a vlog with a friend today and she randomly went “yeah i get why people think these two are dating” talking about two cc’s in the vlog and i was like huh? cause i just had no clue where that came from and she went “i mean look at how hes joking with her. if i didnt know better i’d assume they were dating too” and to give context these r two cc’s who have been friends for like over a decade and are not dating. stated many times by the ccs themselves. and then i was like oh. the way he joked with her? and then i replayed the interaction and it was like. just how normal friends joke around with each other? and she was like see? and i was like man what the fuck are allos on. obviously thats a scenario with a guy and girl so i feel like naturally people r just more annoying about those friendships and thinking every relationship between men & women is romantic but i was so taken aback. i genuinely could not detect an ounce of anything romantic there…. because it wasnt, it wasnt romantic, theyre friends, it was friends joking around. am i crazy

i think i just dont understand romance or like More specifically amatonormative thinking. its all just so foreign and doesnt make sense in my head. wdymm you cant flirt with ur friends without it being romantic? what planet do u live on?

[puppppppppy]

who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️

ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday

[wistfulwatcher]

emily prentiss + her waning tolerance of getting close to killers

[vaguely-concerned]

in his and davrin's banters, lucanis exhibits a certain little shit energy I don't think we see him have with anyone else other than illario and honestly I am living for this

[dykedvonte]

Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.

Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.

He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.

[razmerry]

this is a genuinely vulnerable, touching, and emotionally powerful moment of seeking out connection from jason to dick until you remember that being "all back to normal" refers to when jason got digested by an alien, trapped in a goo egg, and then turned into a tentacle monster that ate people

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.

[moretheta]

oh duazul... woman that you are.... mother that you are.....

[jopzer]

something about roy tucking his face into jamie's neck during 2x12 as a direct contrast to jamie having fully melted into the hug during 2x08 but still taking a few beats before his eyebrows turn and He tucks in his face and starts hiccuping. yea

[imminent-danger-came]

So I'm like, utterly obsessed with MK and Wukong's relationship, because it's like, Wukong has borderline unreasonable faith in MK and MK is willing to put pretty much anything on the line for Wukong (risking the curse being released in 4x02, ready to "meet his fate" FOR him in 4x13), yet MK is also purposefully ignoring SWK's mistakes/flaws and thinking in binaries of "good guy" and "bad guy". And at this point I'm not sure what they wouldn't do for each other, or where is too far to go for each other, and let me tell you girl it's edging on unhealthy.

[iandarling]

Lip Gallagher was five when his dad first taught him how to pickpocket

He learned how to steal wallets and watches on the L, how to outrun the mall cops, and avoid the (few working) security cameras

Lip Gallagher can tell the real deal from a knockoff at first glance- the stitching on a bag, the specific colour on a watch, and the feel of the leather on a wallet.

He would jump the turnstiles, move carefully about the train, get off and on again on random stops, never staying long in one place at a time.

Lip is no idiot, he knows his size and blond hair makes him look more innocent and gullible. He doesn’t look threatening, meaning he can stand and sit closer to people than necessary, without raising eyebrows

At age 9 he had already established a routine. After school he would get on the L, not caring about the direction or route - he would get off at the next stop anyway. He would sit next to a white collar man, usually in a nice suit, with a fancy watch or heavy wallet.

Small nimble fingers are difficult to spot when you’re busy reading the newspaper. The watch is one gone in less than ten seconds. Lip gets off at the next stop. The man won’t notice it’s missing ‘til he gets home.

Frank once showed him which Pawn Shops will accept items no questions asked. Lip hands the owner the watch and he’s offered 300 dollars. They both know the watch is worth 500. Neither of them mention it.

Lip hands Fiona the money, she doesn’t ask where it came from. It means she can afford diapers and formula this month. Ian needs a new jacket and the heating was turned off last week.

He doesn’t think it’s wrong; after all, the men he steals from are already rich and can easily replace the wallet or watch they lost. However he does however feels a little guilty when he steals from women; mostly because he has seen first hand from Fiona the amount of stress she is under just existing as a woman in the world…Still, if their wallet is poking out of their handbag or jacket, he will take it.

As he grows older Lip moves on to more complex and rewarding scams. High risk = high reward. He ends up in a few scrapes with the law, but overall he gets away with it. Besides, Fiona is old enough to get real jobs now. But even though they don’t rely on him pickpocketing anymore, he still does it.

A credit card here, and a loose 20 there; it adds up. At the mall, the library, and even at school he will strike if the opportunity arises. After all;

“When you’re poor, the only way to make money is to steal it or scam it”